Monday, December 19, 2011

Late Is Better Than Missing!

I'm so sorry! Truly sorry! What can I say? I'm a lazy person! I have no real reason for not posting. Laziness and procrastination are just my weaknesses.

Well...I have good news, and bad news. Lets begin with the good news!

I AM TOTALLY CANCER FREE! That's right. I'm back to normal and just waiting for life to be boring again. I finished my chemotherapy and am currently going through radiation.

Radiation isn't bad at all. I can't complain, it's a therapy much lighter and less aggressive than chemo. I have to get up early and go downtown to the Methodist Hospital. Yup, downtown. Everyday. Monday through Friday. It hasn't been the easiest. I'm usually very cranky and mean in the early mornings, I feel bad because my mom gets all my attitude. I need to work on that. The good parts about going to therapy are the people and the fact that there is no pain! All the nurses and doctors are just the sweetest! I couldn't ask for nicer people. When I'm actually getting the radiation I just lay there with my tight fitting mask and just hear sounds. I don't feel anything, it's almost like taking an uncomfortable nap!

What my mask basically looks like.

What the Radiation machine looks like. It spins!

Last Friday was actually pretty cool. I went to Methodist and got my therapy...that went fine. Later that same day I went to an annex of the hospital to go see, what the doctors call, The Cave. Basically, in the The Cave, they show me 3D and 4D images of my body before and after chemo. It was truly spectacular! I saw all my organs and I could of probably labeled them!

In the circles are growths before chemo. In the second picture, they're gone!

My actual skeleton!

Look at those abs!

Coolest thing ever!

My lungs look pretty good!

Sadly, here's the bad news.

Earlier today, at about 10 in the morning, the car my mother and I were in got hit by another vehicle. Literally, one of the scariest experiences of my life. The impact was like nothing I have ever felt before. The car was actually turned from the impact and the passenger side was up in the air. The sound was so loud and so haunting. I could hear it over and over and over. The car hit the passenger side, my side. The side air bags kicked in and the seat belt held me in place. Although it stung and hurt a bit, I'm very glad for those great safety features. When the cars came to a stop all I could think about was "is my mom okay?" The accident really shook us up, but no one was seriously hurt. After calming down, all information needed was swapped and we waited for the police and tow trucks to arrive. The lady that hit us was actually really nice. She had her son with her and he was probably the one that was terrified the most. Too bad we couldn't meet under better circumstances.

The Honda got the worst damage.

The other car hit here. Thank God it wasn't worse.

This day is really unforgettable. It's been one of the worst days of my entire life. I'm just glad that there was no major injuries and that everyone came out alive.

"The Show must go on! I'll face it with a grin! I'm never giving in!"

Thursday, September 29, 2011

You Win Some, You Lose Some

I missed you blog! It's been a while since my last update, but trust me, it was worth the wait if you're reading this! Do I have a story...

Let's go back to Friday the 23rd.

I woke up early that day because I had some outpatient Chemo that I was scheduled to receive in the morning. Mom and I got there about 10:20 and were asked to wait for my doctor to give me a check up. That wait was probably the slowest part of that day! Two hours of waiting later and I finally am called to see the doctor. As usual, the check up went well and I was asked to go to the Infusion Room. The Infusion Room is where outpatients stay and receive their chemo and they later leave. Getting my chemo was no problem at all, I can never feel it, it doesn't take a long time, and I usually just play on my phone not really paying much attention. By this point, I was seeing that I didn't feel any different and I was hoping I wouldn't have a bad reaction to the medicine. Finally it was done and we could leave, oh joy! 

Now for the good part...

On our way home I got incredibly hungry and mom decided to go to Chili's since it was early for dinner and it would probably not be full. When we got seated I got terribly cold. I never before felt cold so quick. Getting through the meal was so unpleasant. I was beyond cold and I didn't understand why. The check couldn't of come any faster that day. When we arrived home I felt even worse. I managed to change my clothes and I went to lay on the couch. I started getting horrible shivers, nothing like I had experienced before. Finally mom decided to go to the ER. I was there for a good five hours. My blood pressure had gotten really low and I felt so terrible. I was being pumped with fluids through my PICC Line and a new, very painful IV on my other arm. My condition required me to be transferred to the the main hospital, and I got to go in an ambulance!! 

I was on the stretcher waiting to leave while I was hooked up to all these machines!

Saturday the 24th...

I was in the PICU, Pediatric Intensive Care Unit. It was HORRIBLE. There was no actual bathroom in my room and I had to stay hooked up to all these monitoring machines. I felt so miserable being in there. I was already much better since being in the ER, I just wanted to go home. Later in the afternoon I got the good news that I had gotten a room in the upper floor! I had never been happier in my entire life!!! I could finally go to the bathroom in an actual room! The rest of the day was really calm and I felt much more...alive. Sunday went by really quick. I didn't do much, but I was happy with that. I got discharged Monday afternoon and that literally sounded like the gates of Heaven opening and angels singing Hallelujah. And now, here we are! 

I made this blog until today because I was honestly putting it off. I don't know why, I guess I was just being lazy. But today I got the most amazing present and I really felt so happy and cared for that I decided to write. I got a lovely card signed by classmates in my 2nd period Anatomy Class and I got a gift card from Charming Charlie! WooHoo! Hope it doesn't have an expiration date cause I probably won't be going to any stores soon, haha. Besides the cards, I got a beautiful Prayer Shawl with a bunch of bright colors! I totally love it! I really am touched with everything and it gave me new hope. Hope that I really needed. I miss school now. I can't wait till all this is over and I can once again feel like my normal self.

                                                     "Life is a mystery."

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Who's Hungry? Ugh, Don't Talk About Food...

Finally, I'm able to blog. 

Small recap: I have been in the hospital since Friday and today I am actually feeling good enough to write! I have been getting treatments in the night and Friday night was not good for me. 6 treatments really take a toll on me. But last night I only got 2 treatments and i feel much better!!

My hospital stay has been good. I got a room in the evening and I got a really nice visit from Steven, Layla, and her boyfriend Jacob. I was really happy they came all the way downtown to visit and see how I'm doing. Friends <3 Brownie Points to Steven who gave me a Hello Kitty doll! Best. Gift. Ever.

Oh, did i forget to mention that I shaved my head? Yeah, my hair is gone and I'm actually glad. I was shedding like crazy and it was so horrible! I left hair everywhere I sat and it was really frustrating. Now that it's finally gone you would not believe how easy it is to wash my head! Haha. I know my hair will soon grow back and I really hope it's gonna be cute. :)

I will be going back home Monday and I will probably be stuck at home trying to finish all the school work I'm missing...wish me luck! Haha.

For your entertainment....Myself with a cap BUT, my baldness is noticeable :P

                                           "Live your life with arms wide open
                                                                                         -Natasha Bedingfield 

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Don't Stop Me Now!

Today, is good day. I feel great! Wanna know why? I'll tell you why...I GOT A WIG!


I can finally stop the horrible shedding by shaving my head. I'm kind of like Britney Spears circa crazy shaving episode. Haha, kidding. But in all seriousness, I cannot wait to shave my hair off! Too bad I will most likely look weird, unlike the little girls with bald heads, TOO CUTE!

This Friday (9/16) I have to be admitted in the hospital again, hopefully it well go well. Being in the hospital isn't all that bad. There are volunteers that come around with crafts or cute dogs and just keep me entertained. Sadly, the TV's don't have all the channels! Main point, there really isn't much I can complain about in the hospital, except the food....thank God good food places deliver to my room! 

I feel happy. Simple. I feel great with my new wig! But....there is something i noticed. I kind of look like someone with my wig. Someone famous. Someone well known.....


It's like we're sisters! Haha.

"Ain't no way you're ever gon' get Any less than you should."
                                                                                     -Justin Bieber 

Monday, September 12, 2011

Sickness Can't Stop Me From Being Fabulous.

Sorry I haven't updated in a few days. I can't decide if it was because of laziness or the fact that really nothing interesting happened. Maybe both. But that's not the point!

It's currently 1 a.m. and I haven't slept yet. My close friends who know me fairly well should know that I am not one for sleeping early. I usually stay up watching Netflix on my phone. As I was finishing an episode of The Tudors, I grew bored and was just messing with my phone until something on the IMDb widget caught my attention. Actor Andy Whitfield from Spartacus died at the age of 39. My initial thought was he was too young, as I read on I discovered he died from a battle with a Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma.

Woah. Lymphoma. I have...nothing to say. Reading that really impacted me. What if I had a Non-Hodgkin's instead of my very curable Hodgkin's Lymphoma? My life could be in serious danger. I feel so grateful, blessed, and lucky that I have a very good prognosis and will more than likely recover well. 

Sometimes, people can easily forget how good life can be here, I know I did. I should be more grateful for everything I am fortunate enough to have. In fact, everyone should be grateful for their things. Even though problems can come up in life, someone else always has a worse situation.

"Even though I'm not always right, I can count on the sun to shine"
                                                                                  -All Time Low 

Thursday, September 8, 2011

My Short Hair!

What can i say? I love the camera. I think it loves me back too...

I'm just here, Living.

Waking up every morning at my own pace is really nice. I'm still waiting for my home schooling to start and I can truly say, I LOVE WAKING UP WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT!

I honestly miss school. Although, there are better teachers than others. Either way, I miss them all. It's hard having to see your friends only when they're free from homework or just the weekend. I feel very secluded.

My Immune system is not running at max and I can't be around crowds. No amusement parks. No movies. No restaurants. No grocery shopping. Just staying at home or in the hospital.

Having Cancer really puts a totally new perspective on life. I feel its really cliche to say this, but I now cherish all the good moments in my day. Doesn't matter how tiny or how noticeable it is, its a moment that I will never relive and its important to cherish it.

One day, I'll proudly say "I beat Cancer.", "I'm a Cancer Survivor." But for now, I can say, go away Cancer, I have better things to focus on!

"I'm a survivor, I'm not gonna give up, I'm not gon' stop, I'm gonna work harder"
                                                                                                   -Destiny's Child